Just some oranges

I feel like so often I'm caught up in our day to day lives. A checklist, sometimes real, sometimes in my head, that I have to get through. One thing leads to another. Feed baby. Clean up breakfast. Play. do dishes. On and on. Then if I'm lucky I suddenly get hit really hard and realize the amazing things going on around me.

I was watching her eat oranges at dinner and if my heart didn't suddenly burst out of my chest. Oh! Those tiny little fingers. The careful picking of which slice to enjoy next. I can't. How did I almost miss this?

It's the strangest mixture of sadness and sheer pride when you see your child do things on their own. Picking up your own food! Goodness. After their whole existence of relying on you for their most basic needs all at once it hits you they don't need that all the time care anymore. And you're so proud. And so distinctly torn up about it.

Not that I'm not still needed, of course. I know that. Our post nap cuddles and hugs reassure me (and I'm hoping her too) that we'll always be connected, though the paths will change. We are a tiny team, her and I. Conquering our laughter filled days.